Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Day 7... Scab Pickin' Fool


I pick my scabs.

This is a gross unladylike habit.
I always thought that once I was an adult.
A LADY
I would stop doing that.

Guess WHAT????
I haven't.

I suffer from chronic-scabpickulitus.

And you know you know what?
Fuck it.

What childhood oddities did you bring along with
you to your adulthood? I would love to know. Here
are a few other of my signature child to adult idiosyncrasies:


1. the previously mentioned scab picking

2. every time I eat a bagel, I take a bite of each
quarter, separating them, forming a bagel line. I eat the
worstquarter bagel first, and then end with the last BEST
delicious
bite at the end.

3. in fact, come to think of it, I basically am, since childhood,
OBSESSED with the last bite being the best bite.

4. when I watch TV my jaw draws open and my chin "falls"
upward- I am a space cadet!


I am sure there are others........but we/I have 24 more days
of writing to let you/myself in on more of my little secrets.


Adult formed neuroses - well that is just a whole other
category.I personally believe that in the future, we will be
able to create,instead of a holiday savings account, a prepaid
therapy account only to be cashed when you are Bonkers...
(note to self, write that down in the book of ideas BC it could
be a winner!).


Some of my winner adult induced neuroses:

1. I cannot tolerate ANYONE who doesn't know that they
should speed up when a light is green at an intersection
infamous for being a long red. HOW DO THEY STAND IT????

2. The mispronunciation of the word supposedly, to be
supposeBly can literally cause my hair to stand on edge

3. The visceral reaction I get when I see a baby, especially
with his/her daddy. Reaction somewhat akin to the pounding
of a clock, BIOLOGICAL one perhaps, pounding in my chest.

4. My absolute inability to sit still without touching myself,
not sexually,in some way. In particular I scratch my arms a lot.
My family calls itgiving the chills. The person whom I wrote
about yesterday oftencalls(ed) me Tactile Dana...


Aren't people just about the weirdest form of life? Where the
hell did the idea of normal arise from? Where is that man? I
would like to kickhis ass? Seriously, we are freaks. We all do
things that can't be explained.That can't even possibly work to
fulfill any of the main needs of survival, which are:


1. FOOD
2. CLOTHING (including shoes!)
3 SHELTER
4 ORGASMS ( I submit this is as necessary, or why would we
have the ability to repetitively do it - sorry boys!)


And yet we all do odd-ass things that we are embarrassed of
or celebrate, but certainly we do not DO those things without
awareness of the fact that they are not NORMAL....


I submit to you that we rage against normal.

Who needs it?
Who cares?


I have enough shit on my plate to just get through today, to
worry about the fact that I have a scab on my arm from an
annoying mosquito bite. So what if when I sit in my friend's
car after work today, heading to a bar to meet an old friend,
I obsessively move the seat up/down/forward/backward using
the electronic controls...and laugh the whole time.
SO WHAT!!!

WHO CARES!!!

Tonight in celebration of all that is freaky about me, and all I am
sure is freaky about any one of you reading, in the words of Luke
Wilson in The Family Stone...................


LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!

Hope and love,
Soul Dancer


1 comment:

Soul Dancer said...

I'm a picker too..I think most people are closet pickers...yes It is a gross habit but who cares!