Day 9...Priceless

I didn't write yesterday.
I was busy........

Being part of a miracle of sorts. Though I didn't know the foundation
of this miracle started my freshman year of college.

I met amazing women. Three. I don't keep in touch with
them on the same time table. But there is instant comfort
...instant love....and instant LAUGHTER.

We love each other.
I feel blessed.
In many different ways, we were all open and that allowed
us to connect in a way that not all people can.

Throughout changes.......and post-college life choices that
could pull apart most, we remain friends.

We are cheerleaders rooting for each other.

We are hot chocolate on a snowy day and the feel of water
on the hot humid haze of August.

I have never laughed so hard in my life. I couldn't breathe.
My abs are sore. I was, still am elated.

At one point, my eyes glazed over. I was diving within. Feeling
less than. Judging myself.


My friend noticed and asked, "Are you getting introspective?"

To which I replied, "Yes."

She knew why. She wouldn't allow me to think I was less than
because I was single. She replied with a smile, immediately
snapping me out of potential pity party,

"Not on my time!"


We broke out in hysterical laughter and that was the end of it.

It was a miracle to be amongst people without having to,
needing to, WANTING to hide anything. I am so lucky.

I am so embarrassed to sing for ANYONE. I sing for them...
horribly. Our faces hurt from smiling.

I can get so sensitive when I feel I am the butt of a joke.
Those feelings are often not anything more than ME judging
myself. I have never felt this once. We are all laughing with,
never at.

What a gift to be reminded why we try to interpret, analyze,
and reflect while in the midst of sadness. It is because it allows
us to enjoy and appreciate the happy occasions with a newer,
deeper sense of joy and understanding.

If only the phrase, "laughing my ass off" could be literal...

I would be down two sizes.

I feel so full...perhaps the multitude of mozzarella sticks.

But I think it is because my heart expanded so much. For
two days I didn't give in to the temptation of comparing
myself to someone/something that doesn't exist. I didn't
feel lonely and I didn't feel that being single was somehow
a jail sentence because of a crime I committed. I was in the
present completely.

I was happy.

I wasn't disconnected or hidden from ANYONE......
even from myself.

Priceless

Hope and Love,
Soul Dancer